To Sail Beyond The Sunset

‘But I'll design a better one. Mo, where did you hear of KC's top Madam? '

‘At a Ladies' Aid meeting. Mrs Bunch was deploring the open immorality of this city. I kept my ears open and my mouth closed. Darling, I'll love that bed when it's built. .. and in the meantime I'll be happy with any reasonably level place or even a pile of coal if Briney puts me on it. '

‘Go along with you. Next picture. '

‘Then quit teasing my right nipple. Young man masturbating, his daydreams in the background. Father strongly approves of masturbation. He said that all the stories about it were nonsense. He urged me to masturbate all I want to and whenever I want to, all my life, and to be no more ashamed of it than I am of peeing - just close the door, as I do when peeing.

‘They told me that it would make me go blind. But it didn't. Next. '

‘He's an "irrumator" and she is a "fellatrix" and that's Vesuvius in the background. Only Father says that those names are silly; it's just two youngsters discovering that sex can be fun. He pointed out that not only is it fun for both of them but also there is a major advantage. If she discovers that it smells bad, she can suddenly remember that it's bedtime; goodnight, Bill - and, no, I can't see you next Saturday. Don't come back at all; I'm entering a nunnery. Briney, I've done that - tossed a boy out because I didn't like the way his penis smelled. One was a Howard candidate. Phew! Father told me that a penis that smelled bad was not necessarily diseased, but that was the way to bet. .. and in any case if it wasn't sweet enough to kiss, it wasn't sweet enough to put inside me. '

I moved on to the next one. ‘Same situation, comme ci instead of comme ça. Cunnilingus. Another silly word, says Father; it's just a kiss. The sweetest kiss of all. .. unless you combine this one with the one we just looked ar, to make a sixty-nine. Soixante-neuf. Although there is much to be said for taking the two sorts of kisses at one rime, and concentrate. '

I turned the page. ‘Oh, oh! Here's one that Father did not care for. '

‘Me, too. I prefer www.booksforchildren.ru girls. '

‘Yes, but you can do it to a woman, too. Father said that some day some man was going to want to do that to me. .. and that I should think about it ahead of time and be prepared to cope with it. He said that it was not immoral, or wrong, but that it was dirty and physically risky -‘

(This was in 1906, long before AIDS showed that buggery could be a special and deadly hazard. )

‘- but that if I got curious and just had to try it, make him use a sheath and get him to be ultra slow and extra gentle - or I would wind up buying fur coats for proctologists' wives. '

‘Seems likely. Next, please. '

‘Beloved -‘

‘Yes, Mo? '

‘If you want to do that to me, I'm willing. I'm not in the least afraid that you would hurt me. '

‘Thank you. You're a silly wench, but I love you. I'm not yet tired of your other hole. Next picture, please; there are people queued up for the second show. '

‘Yes, sir. I think this one is meant to be funny: hushand surprises wife playing happy games with the housewife next door - look at the expression on his face! Briney, I had never suspected that a woman could be so much fun until that time Jane made a grab for me. She's real cuddly. Or anything. '

‘Yes, I know. Or anything. So is Hal. Or anything. '

‘Well! I must have slept through something. This next one - Briney, I can't see why women would use dildoes when there are so many live, warm ones around, attached to men. Do you? '

‘They don't all have your opportunities, my love. Or your talents. '

‘Thank you, sir. ' I moved on. ‘Cunnilingus again, but two women. Briney, why are mermaids used as a symbol of Lesbos? '

‘I don't know. What did your Father say? '

‘Just what you did. Oh, this next one does show something Father disapproves of. He says that anyone who mixes whips and chains, or either, with sex, is crazy as a pet coon and should be kept away from healthy people. Hmm, the next one is nothing special, just a different position, one that we've tried. Fun for variety, I think, but not for every day. And now - Oh, this one Father called, "the hetaera's examination, or three ways for a dollar. " Do you think Annie Chambers' girls are examined this way? I hear that they are top quality this side of Chicago. Maybe New York. '

‘Look, my sweet, I know nothing of Madam Chambers, or her girls. I can't support both you and Annie Chambers, not even with the, help of the Foundation. So I don't patronise brothels. '

‘What do you do in Denver, Briney? Cancel that - under our agreement, I'm not supposed to ask. '

‘That wasn't in our agreement; of course you can ask. You tell me your bedtime stories and I'll tell you mine - then we'll play doctor. Denver. .. I'm glad you asked that. In Denver I met this young fat boy -‘

‘Briney! '

‘- who has the most gorgeous big sister, a grass widow a little younger than you are, with long slender legs, natural blonde, honey-coloured hair down to her waist, a sweet disposition, and big, firm tits. I asked her, "How about it? " ‘ Briney stopped.

‘Well? Go on. What did she say? '

‘She said no. Hon, in Denver I'm usually too tired for anything more adventurous than Mother Thumb and her four daughters. They are faithful to me in their own fashion and they don't expect me to take them out to dinner and a show first. '

‘Oh, piffle! What is the blonde's name? '

‘What blonde? '

I've just figured out how to get a message out via pixel. So, if you will excuse me, I'll get it ready at once so that I will have it ready the next time he shows up.