But all was not lost. Or should not have been. Once that jack rabbit jumped off me, I simply stood up and was immediately presentable. In 1906 skirts came down to the ankles and I had picked a dress that would stand up under crushing. I had left my drawers off not alone for his convenience (and mine) but because, if you are not wearing drawers and encounter an emergency, you don't have to scramble to put them on.
As for Dr Zeke the stupid geek, all he needed to do before he answered detfilmstore.ru that door was to button his pants. .. which he had to do anyhow.
We could have brazened it out. We could have looked them in the eye, refused to look guilty, invited them into our conference.
But what he did was grab my arm, shove me into his coat closet, and turn the key on me.
I stood in there, in the dark, for two solid hours that seemed like two years. I kept my sanity by thinking up painful ways to kill him. ‘Hoisting him by his own petard' was the simplest. Some of the others are too nasty to think about.
Finally he unlocked the door, looked at me and whispered hoarsely, ‘They're gone now. Let's slip you out the back door. '
I didn't spit in his face. I said, ‘No, Doctor, we will now have our conference. Then you will escort me out the front door of the church, and you will stand there, chatting with me, until several people have seen us. '
‘No, no, Mrs Smith! I think -‘
‘You didn't think. Doctor, the only alternative is for me to run screaming out of here shouting "Rape! ". .. and what a police matron will find inside me that you left there will prove rape to a jury. '
When Brian got home, I told him about it. I had considered keeping it to myself. But we had reached a friendly agreement three years earlier concerning how and when we could each adulterate our marriage without offending or damaging the other. So I decided to make a clean breast of it and accept a spanking if he thought I rated it. I thought I did rate a spanking. .. and if it was a truly hard spanking, that would be an excuse to cry and that would probably wind up wonderfully.
So I wasn't too worried. But I did want to confess and be shrived.
That friendly agreement for prudent adultery - we had resolved to operate together whenever possible, and always to help each other, cover up for each other, and help the other make the kill. The discussion had come about through Dr Rumsey's confirming that I was pregnant again (with Brian, Junior) and I was feeling especially sentimental. That, plus an incitement: we had received a pianissimo ‘mixed doubles' invitation from a couple we liked.
I started in by telling Briney solemnly that I intended to be utterly faithful to him. I had been faithful for four years and now that I knew that I could be, I would be, till death do us part.
He had answered, ‘Look, stupid, you're sweet but not smart. You started in at fourteen -‘
‘Almost fifteen! '
‘Short of fifteen. You told me that twelve other men and boys had sampled your sweetness - but you wanted to know if I thought that the candidates on your Howard list need be counted? Then you revised the tally, telling me that a couple of minor incidents had slipped your mind. You also told me that you had learned to enjoy it almost at once. .. but you wanted me to know that I was the best. Swivel Hips, do you really think that it changed you and your happy loving ways forever just because that bonehead preacher said some magic words over you? Truth will out, the leopard does not change his spots, and the day inevitably comes. When it does, I want you to enjoy it but to stay out of trouble. .. for your sake. But I do not expect you to be what society calls "faithful" forever amen. I do expect you not to get pregnant, not to catch some filthy disease, not to cause a scandal, not to shame me or yourself, not to risk the welfare of our children. Mostly that means using common sense and always pulling down the shades. '
I gulped. ‘Yes, sir. '
‘Now, my love, if it is true, as you assert, that Hal Andrews causes your gizzard to throb but that you are avoiding the temptation on my account, then be assured that your forebearance gains you no stars in your crown. We both know Hal; he's a gentleman and he keeps his nails clean. He's polite to his wife. If you don't mean business, quit flirting with him. But if you do want him, go get him! Don't mind me; I'll be busy. Jane is as delectable a piece as I've seen in a long time. I've hankered to bisect her angle from the day we met them. '
‘Briney! Is that true? You never showed it. Why didn't you tell me? '
‘And give you a chance to go female and jealous and possessive? Sweetheart, I've had to wait until you admitted out loud, with no coaxing or coaching from me, that you were feeling a deep curiosity about another man. .. with a suggestion that perhaps I might feel the same way about his wife. It turns out that I do. So call Jane and accept their dinner invitation. We'll see what develops. '
‘But what if it turns out that you like Jane more than you like me? '
Impossible. I love you, my lady. '
‘I mean what she's sitting on. How she makes love. '
‘Possible, but unlikely. If I did, I would not stop loving you or lose interest in what you are sitting on; it's special. But that doesn't mean I don't want to try Jane; she smells good. ' He licked his lips and grinned.
He did and she did and we four did and they remained our loving friends for years although they moved to St Joe two years later when he got a better offer from the school board there. That put them too far away for quiet family orgies, mostly.
Over the course of time Brian and I worked out detailed rules about how to handle sex, all of them intended to avoid the hazards while leaving both of us free to ‘sin' - not carelessly but prudently, so that we could always look Mrs Grundy in the eye and tell her to peddle her papers elsewhere.
Brian made no concessions whatever to the prevalent belief that sex was in some way innately sinful. He was utterly contemptuous of popular opinion. ‘If a thousand men believe something and believe otherwise, then it's a thousand to one that they are wrong. Maureen, I support us by having contrary opinions. '
When I told Briney about being locked in that closet, he sat up in bed. ‘That bastard! Mo, I'm going to break both his arms. '